Folks were rightly concerned about how Mitt Romney’s bizarre fantasies (he actually
admits right out loud to being a Mormon; a Mormon for Christ’s sake, under-raiments
and everything) might influence his decisions as the next Decider. Goddamn right,
concerned.
.....But Mitt is actually less crazy than Sarah Palin (hereafter, Sister Palin). The
Singleton Simpleton Scale plots several factors of silliness to arrive at an “S” rating of
from 1 to 11, with atheists representing a statistical 0. To provide some context as to
how stupid you have to be to even appear on the scale, belief in an omnipotent god that
created itself and the universe in six days flat only earns you a 1. The pope comes in at
4. Mormons as a group are a 7 (Romney is an 8 because he tied the family dog to the
roof of the car). But Sister Palin is a Pentecostal of the subset Assemblies of God. That
there’d be your 11. They make Jehovah's Witnesses look like Presbyterians. Jimmy
Swaggart was an AG before he got defrocked because hiring a hooker to talk dirty
while he whacked off wasn't sleazy enough.
.....John McCain now says he’s a solid 10: a Baptist. Obama, who’s supposed to be the
brains of the outfit, joined John the Baptist in genuflecting at the feet of comedian Rick
Warren and his flock of flakes. Reverend Wright? Time was when a politician had to
be seen coming out of a brothel to have his personal associations questioned, now he
only has to go to church. Where you gonna find a horse's ass of the Reverend Wright's
grandiosity except in church? The Singleton Simpleton Scale doesn't lie: Barocko is a
textbook 3.Joe Biden goes around bragging about how he's a Roman Catholic; that's
normally good for a 4, but Biden’s a 5 because he’s smart enough to know better.
admits right out loud to being a Mormon; a Mormon for Christ’s sake, under-raiments
and everything) might influence his decisions as the next Decider. Goddamn right,
concerned.
.....But Mitt is actually less crazy than Sarah Palin (hereafter, Sister Palin). The
Singleton Simpleton Scale plots several factors of silliness to arrive at an “S” rating of
from 1 to 11, with atheists representing a statistical 0. To provide some context as to
how stupid you have to be to even appear on the scale, belief in an omnipotent god that
created itself and the universe in six days flat only earns you a 1. The pope comes in at
4. Mormons as a group are a 7 (Romney is an 8 because he tied the family dog to the
roof of the car). But Sister Palin is a Pentecostal of the subset Assemblies of God. That
there’d be your 11. They make Jehovah's Witnesses look like Presbyterians. Jimmy
Swaggart was an AG before he got defrocked because hiring a hooker to talk dirty
while he whacked off wasn't sleazy enough.
.....John McCain now says he’s a solid 10: a Baptist. Obama, who’s supposed to be the
brains of the outfit, joined John the Baptist in genuflecting at the feet of comedian Rick
Warren and his flock of flakes. Reverend Wright? Time was when a politician had to
be seen coming out of a brothel to have his personal associations questioned, now he
only has to go to church. Where you gonna find a horse's ass of the Reverend Wright's
grandiosity except in church? The Singleton Simpleton Scale doesn't lie: Barocko is a
textbook 3.Joe Biden goes around bragging about how he's a Roman Catholic; that's
normally good for a 4, but Biden’s a 5 because he’s smart enough to know better.
| Candidates Troll Murky Depths for Willfully Ignorant Twit Vote |
| Screening for Deluded-Nitwit-in-Chief |
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